AIRPOD WATCH
★   THE BUREAU OF MISSING EARBUDSCASE FILE Nº 7845112   ★

PUBLIC NOTICE

WANTED FOR AIRPOD THEFT

One missing pair. One suspicious smile. An entirely serious crime spree.

Black-and-white parody mugshot of the fictional AirPod Bandit wearing glasses and holding an AIRPOD THEFT booking placard
BOOKING PHOTOTHE BUD BANDITFILE 7845112
SERIOUS CRIME · NO ONE'S LAUGHING · NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT

REWARD

£500*

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE RETURN OF OUR COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL AIRPODS

*Imaginary reward. Not redeemable for actual money, snacks or Bluetooth accessories.
OFFICIAL-LOOKING DOCUMENTATION

The AirPod Bandit case file

A comprehensive investigation into a crime that definitely only happened in our imagination.

Last seen

  • Suspiciously close to a charging cable.
  • Loitering near unattended desks.
  • Asking whether the left AirPod is really necessary.
  • Looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Known aliases

  • “The Bud Bandit”
  • “Bluetooth Burglar”
  • “Left Bud Larry”
  • “The Pair Pirate”
  • “Captain Connectivity”

Suspect profile

Hair
Strategically absent
Glasses
Present and accounted for
Beard
Highly recognisable
Expression
Suspiciously cheerful
Occupation
Alleged audio enthusiast*
THE TRAIL HAS GONE WIRELESS

The great AirPod mystery

It started like every great detective story: a charging case, a missing earbud and an incredibly dramatic overreaction.

According to our entirely fictional investigation, the mysterious Bud Bandit has an eye for tiny technology and a talent for looking innocent in his mugshot. Authorities — meaning us, wearing imaginary sheriff badges — have classified the case as extremely unserious.

Review the evidence, memorise the aliases and help spread the word by sharing this funny wanted poster with someone who knows the importance of keeping both earbuds together.

Spread the wanted notice
DEPARTMENT OF LOST AUDIOFORM A-01

Evidence ledger

01One empty charging caseUnverified
02A suspiciously good mugshotExhibit A
03Strong Bluetooth signalAllegedly
04No actual evidence whatsoeverConfirmed
CALLING ALL HONORARY DEPUTIES

SPREAD THE WORD

Help this ridiculous legend travel further than a Bluetooth connection. Share the parody wanted poster or print one for the office.

No real sightings or personal information are collected.